The woman in this picture is not me – but this is how I feel, how I’ve felt since last Sunday. We came to the realization that it was time, it was JB’s time to go. I felt awful making the decision, yet I knew I had no choice.
He was just so sick. People always say you’ll know when it’s time, and we did. Jeff had to leave for work, he just couldn’t take off. So I called my sister and she went with us. Picked us up, and JB rode there on my lap, all snuggled up in his favorite Florida beach towel. I was so doubting my decision, because on the ride…he perked up! He was looking out the window, checking the sights. It was like his last hurrah I guess.
The technician confirmed what I had thought. The end was coming. They asked if I wanted an exam with the doctor. I would have, but honestly – it cost $95, and I sadly knew what the response would be. So I declined, and they got him ready. I wish they could have gotten me ready. But then again, I would have NEVER been ready for this.
They brought him into the room to be with us. I don’t know why, but seeing him with that black armband, the covering to his IV lines – it just got to me. It was black, with a pink heart. My heart sank. They let me hold him for a moment, and gave him a sedative shot. He immediately relaxed. When THE shot went in, and then the flush to make sure it went properly – start to finish it could not have taken more than thirty seconds. Tops. My boy was gone.
I was with him for some time – telling him what a great cat he was, telling him how much we loved him. Thanking him for loving us as much as we loved him. After some time, we left. This was done at an emergency vet center, and they could not have been more loving or more compassionate. Their condolence card arrived in the mail yesterday – the ENTIRE office signed it and wrote kind, loving messages.
I will miss him every day of my life. But he’s free now – happy. He’s running and playing, no more nose running! Have a great time up in heaven, J – you need to be waiting right there at the gates when it is my time.
I love you, Beasterman.